I had this ongoing crush that started to consume me. I felt like I was being manipulated and controlled at every turn. I’d wake up thinking about my crush. I’d go to sleep with my crush. My crush went everywhere with me. My crush would sit with me at the airport as I waited for a plane, stood in line with me in WalMart, and even accompanied me when I visited my children and granddaughter in Utah. It was sick. I tried desperately to separate myself from my crush, but whenever I separated, I went back. I couldn’t help but reunite, although I knew that we’d have to start from scratch to make it work.
Thirty-one years ago, Dr. Peebles' first words to me were, "You are a beautiful spirit!" and then he said, "What the world wants from you, is you."
Dr. Peebles has said through me for decades, "What someone says about you, tells you more about them, than it does about you." The first time that I heard this, I was befuddled. I thought that if someone told me I was ugly, then I was ugly, and I had to do something to rectify this so that the world would accept me. And, if I couldn't change this about myself, I would always be an unloveable loser. (Yes, this did happen.) By putting so much credence into what someone told me about myself, I would always end up feeling like a failure. I always fell short of the world's expectations of me. How would I ever be enough for the world?
Dr. Peebles was a naturopath, and became a medical doctor at the age of sixty. He wrote prolifically on the topics of Spiritualism and mysticism. He was a Spiritualist minister, and also a channel himself. He traveled the earth extensively, five times, visiting South Africa, China, Australia, Ireland, and other remote regions…all during a time when there were no airplanes! He was the American Consulate to Turkey. I once saw a show on the History Channel that mentioned Dr. Peebles, and that he was one of the founders of the Kellogg’s company, although, because of his controversial beliefs in spirits and natural medicine, he was considered to be the scourge of the company, and shunned. The Kellogg's company makes no mention of him as being one of the founders.
It was probably around 1997 when I was shopping with my young daughters at WalMart in Cottonwood, AZ. I saw this beautiful little blue and white lighthouse lamp on a shelf of clearance items. I picked it up, and sighed sadly when I saw the price: $5. I put it back on the shelf, and wanted to cry because I'd determined that I couldn't afford it. My daughters saw and felt my sadness, as much as I tried to hide it.
I have a new PA system that I use at my Open Sessions. It’s really cool. It only weighs 24 pounds, and is super easy to set up. There’s a subwoofer that stands about a foot and a half tall. Then I insert three 5 inch wide by 2 ft long pieces into that. The three pieces are stacked on each other, creating a long tower that stands nearly 8 ft tall.. All three pieces look like they make up one long speaker, but the actual speaker is only in the piece at the top of the tower. The two pieces below that are just spacers between the main speaker and subwoofer. In other words, they have no purpose in delivering sound to the audience.
Or, do they?
I'll never forget watching the old cartoon TV movie, Horton Hears a Whobased on Dr. Seuss' book about Horton the elephant who hears a speck of dust talking to him. Horton soon discovers that the speck of dust is a tiny planet that is populated by people called Whos, and he puts it on a clover to protect it, holding it with his trunk. No one else but Horton can hear the Whos. Eventually the community of Whos come together and surmise that by shouting together in unison, they might be heard by the greater universe. "We are here! We are here! We are here!" they shout into a megaphone, over and over again. But, no one hears them except for Horton. Finally, the mayor of Whoville finds one baby Who who has not added its voice to the fold. The baby is too young to speak, and only says a single, "Yopp!" into the megaphone, and finally the Whos are heard by the universe outside of their small speck of dust.
What a beautiful metaphor for our life on This School Called Planet Earth.
Thank you so much for your patience with me over the past several months. I know that I have been rather absent from your lives via newsletters and Open Sessions. I have been dealing with exhaustion from nearly 25 years of trance, some family issues (my 88 year old Dad was seriously ill for several weeks, but astonished the doctors with a full recovery), and a sudden move which happened to occur during the big snowstorm that we had here in Sedona. I've needed to hit the reset button on my life, and I'm finally starting to feel new inspiration coming in.
This year I look forward to reuniting with Sandy, who was my best friend from Kindergarten through fifth grade. In sixth grade, for the first time ever, we were put into separate classes, and we soon drifted apart.
I tend to pray without ceasing, talking to God all day long as I go about my work, exercise, errands, cooking, cleaning. I talk to God in the shower, and in my car. But, recently, I heard God talking to me more and more, and every time He would say the same thing: "Summer, you need to sit with me." I was being asked to sit with God every morning, not just for a few minutes as I often did, but for at least twenty minutes per day. Did I do it? Nope.