Dr. Peebles through Summer Bacon • November, 2006
We are here today in an exploration of grief, and an understanding of grieving itself.
For what are you in grief? For what are you grieving? You certainly have many, if you will, relationships within life from the distant past, and certainly within your current reality, sadness inside of self that is carried, at times, for centuries: for situations whereby you felt there was no hope, you felt a lack of faith, a lack of trust. And, it was there within your spirit that you became, if you will, stagnant. You stood still in time, and it is there that you are still stuck within your heart; within circumstances with which you have not yet entered love. Certainly you can grieve for anything and any one. You can grieve for circumstances. You can grieve for an environment. You can grieve, my dear friends, for the Mother Earth. You can grieve when you lose your job, your employment. You can grieve when you lose a cherished ring, when you break a plate that was passed down for generations within your family.
You can grieve for anything and everything, and so if you for a moment here close your eyes and simply feel the process of grief (certainly you are all familiar with it) you begin to understand that grief is an energy; it is a vibrational frequency. Grief is there as a teacher: not to bother you, to hurt you, to make you miserable, but there for you to understand the greater truths and awarenesses of the passing of situations, circumstances, and as well your beloved human beings, family member and friends; the dearly departed who are indeed in the animal form as well, such as your kitty cats, puppy dogs, hamsters, and turtles.
Grief comes in many forms: when a hurricane tears down a structure, God bless you indeed. My dear friends, your home has been destroyed, and within your heart you must rebuild it. Grief in so many forms around circumstances, relationships of all kinds. Understand that there is darkness that surrounds circumstances of your distant past in this lifetime and in others. If you, for a moment here, enter into this darkness where you feel the sadness and undistinguished pain, it feels like grief, but you are not aware yet of what the circumstances are that are causing this pain inside of you, the grief, i.e., the misunderstanding between self and self that anything is in less than love.
Go back into the darker spaces and allow for one circumstance within your life’s journey to reveal itself unto you. A circumstance that was harsh perhaps: perhaps it was just one single moment in time where mommy forgot to come in and tuck you into bed, and there you sat in the darkness waiting hour upon hour for mommy to come to you, and yet she did not. She forgot, she turned out the lights; she had a cup of tea and went to bed. Realize that in these circumstances, can you rectify what you feel has been done that was wrong unto thee? As you are feeling yourself there in the darkness, a small child forgotten by your mommy, realize that in these circumstances (your grief) comes from knowing, not that your mommy forgot, but that you did not use your voice in that given moment to cry out and to say, “Mommy come to me! You forgot about me here! I would like to have my hug and my kiss goodnight.” It is the sadness that you carry within your heart that something could have happened that could have changed the circumstances. It is not the circumstance itself for which you feel the grief, but it is the awareness that just one single solitary difference in that situation could have changed your entire reality.
Circumstances of all kinds: you invited someone into your home and later realized that they hurt you or your child. Circumstances whereby you, if you will, did a deed of sorts, whereby you unwilling and unaware that you did it, i.e. suddenly you cut someone off there at the door to a store and did not realize that you had dropped the door in the face of a kindly old lady, and when you realized what had happened there you felt grief, you felt sadness, you felt pain—grief—because you could have changed the circumstances had you been more aware, more conscious, more wide awake in the moment there. These are very difficult situations for all human beings upon the Planet Earth. Circumstance after circumstance; relationship after relationship. “Goodness gracious, dear God! Why did I not do it differently? Why did I not make different decisions? Why did I not make different choices? Why did I not perceive the situation, the person, with love?”
God bless you, indeed, my dear friends. It is for love that you are grieving always and forevermore. And therefore, should you be carrying grief within your heart, first and foremost it’s extraordinarily important for you to remember that because you feel grief, this is a sign unto you that you can also feel love! You grieve because you care. You grieve because you want to live a temperate and beautiful life. You want to bring love into every relationship, and every circumstance. You grieve when you are hurrying so fast that you grab your cherished dish from the counter and it slips from your fingers because you did not take the time to relax, to touch it appropriately, and hold it closely to your heart.
You grieve for circumstances, for relationships wherein you did not find conscious awareness of your surroundings, and did not act from trust and faith in God, wide awake upon the Planet Earth in that given moment. Grief is certainly no stranger to anyone, but it is what strengthens your heart. It is a cry from your soul, from your spirit, that you do care, that you do love, that you see the value in everything and everyone. All of your life is to be loved. Certainly, my dear friends, everything in your home: love it freely! People in your lives, animals, your Mother Earth, your automobile: love everything freely and equally, not one part of your world is worthy of less love. All upon the Planet Earth, everything, every person, every situation, deserves the greatest love that you can muster within your heart.
You grieve when you become a stranger to yourself. You grieve when you have come to the awareness that you have partaken of, if you will, less than love in given circumstances and situations.
For a moment here, close your eyes, breathe deeply into your spine, and if you will, allow for a circumstance in your life for which you are feeling grief and pain, whereby you desire to go back to rectify, to change it, to finish business with an individual, with an animal who is dearly departed. Go back and allow the situation to be realized fully within you. Do not be afraid, and give yourself permission here to simply relive the circumstances, the sadness there, the grief, and ask yourself the question: What would you have done differently? What would you have done to change your circumstances? Would you have appreciated your mommy more? Would you have walked your puppy a few more times around the block? Would you have cherished the plate that you took for granted before it feel to the floor?
My dear friends, you can, if you will, rectify these broken circumstances by allowing for yourself to travel back in time. Look at the plate upon the floor, gather the pieces together, mold them into that cherished plate, and place it upon the shelf within your heart. Hold it dear: it is not gone, nor is it forgotten. Go back in your relationship with your puppy dog. Find that being within you, hold the puppy close to you, scratch him behind his ears, rub his little belly, give him the hugs and kisses that you wish you had given so long ago. Bring your puppy into your heart and know that puppy has never left, but is always there with you, inside of you.
Return to circumstances and situations whereby you invited a stranger into your home,and they robbed you of a cherished item or they hurt a child. You grieve for circumstances, for the ways—the countless ways—in which, if you had made a different decision, your life would be different. Go back to these circumstance my dear friends. Your life can be different, and you do not have to hold the pain. Come to the realization that yes, you made a decision that changed the course of time, your life circumstances, yet you can with your imagination go back to situations, restructure them in such a fashion that you can make peace: that no longer do you have to grieve for what you did not do. Go back now, when you open the door to a stranger, and all you have to do is to say, “I invite you back into my life, but this time I invite you in with love in a spirit of peace, and that you will not cause me or my family any harm. I invite you in because I know you are a part of me forevermore, yet I am a part of you as well, I am your strength and your love and your guide and your freedom, and I unbind your spirit from that which has aggravated you for centuries, and I give you the circumstance of the past in a way to provide you freedom and flight of soul from your pain. We now together create purpose and meaning to this desperate circumstance of the past, and I no longer feel the need for grief, but only for love. Together we can grieve, we can cry for your sad and broken spirit. Together we can also grow into a new consciousness.”
Taking these circumstances from the past and turning them into energetic forces for the future is a wonderful way to propel your life into greater love, prosperity, abundance, when you are willing to travel into past circumstances such as these, watch the days progress. The people involved in the circumstances suddenly feeling free and unbound, because you have reached into the distant past and altered it. There is no rip, no tear, no wound that cannot be healed by the energetic force of love. Bring love into everything: it’s never, my dear friends, too late.
Grief: it is an incredible emotion, and it is a very heavy vibration, and it stays with you day by day as you trudge along the path of your existence. You can, if you will, succumb to the crushing weight of grief and find yourself immobile forevermore. Or you can stop in acknowledgment of the very same, and in doing so you begin to dig your way out of a pit: a pit of darkness, of heaviness. It takes incredible courage, and it is especially difficult when it comes to the dearly departed, to your mother, father, sister, brother, aunts and uncles, grandparents, grand-uncles, grand-aunts, all family members, a dear cousin, a twin brother who you never knew who died at birth. The death of a human being is a circumstance that can be intolerable for the human spirit, and we understand your sadness, we understand your grief and your pain. You would not feel it had you not loved so strongly, so willingly (so much love!) and it is very hard to lose someone. But don’t you worry for a minute, my dear friends. For, the one you think is lost, we have found.
When it comes to your holiday times, birthday celebrations, the calendar event of a cherished family vacation that you remember every year: it’s very hard when you do not have your dearly departed with you. And so you feel sadness and grief, again for that which you cannot, as you believe, change; for circumstances that seem to be out of your control. “I can never have my granddaddy at my side again! Oh woe is me! He always sat next to me at the dinner table. Whenever we had a chance we discussed everything about life, and laughed our way into the night.” How very sad. The heaviness and the pain that you feel, the circumstances are not easy, but they are not beyond repair either.
You desire to have contact. Your deepest desire would be to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that grandma is right there with you; that your sister is free of her earthly struggles, no longer in pain, and watches over you. Your greatest heart’s desire, the crux of your grief, resides in the force of anger. “This cursed existence that I am in now that my brother has passed! How can I go on?” You go on by knowing that the relationship has never been broken. You would not feel the grief and the sadness if the love was not so strong. Rejoice that you have had people in your life that are worthy of your sadness, that you happily are willing to shed tears over, God bless you indeed; that you have had such deep friendships in your life; that you remember the times of laughter; that you remember the time that you danced together; that you kissed in the middle of the night. God bless you indeed, my dear friends: that your life has been so rich, so full of these wonderful, rapturous experiences. Rejoice that you have known a life so beautiful; that you have had the grace of God touch your existence by people so wonderful, that you can feel such sadness when they are gone.
You however have never been left, and how do you come to this awareness? It’s not easy. But, we share with you an important understanding of the energy of love. When you allow for yourself to continue in your grief and your pain, you are holding your loved ones at arm’s length. When you cry, “Woe is me!” to the heavens, “I wish my daddy never left! Oh how I want my brother back again!” it makes them cry, for they sit next to you and say, “I am here, I have not left.” My dear friends, grief begets grief. Your angels in heaven, your dearly departed loved ones, they grieve for you; for your circumstances of pain. They do not want to see you sad in the darkness. They do not want for you to have your life at a standstill. They do not want any less laughter at the dinner table because they are not there. They want for the remembrance of their spirit to enhance and enrich the glory of the occasion. Oh, shed your tears, but shed them with love. Not for the sadness of the loss, but for the joy of having had these individuals as a part of your existence.
Cry, my dear friends. Cry your heart out, and scream to the heavens, “I love you, my dear father! I love you, my brother! I love you, my sister! Grandpa, I love you!” Allow for your passion, for this love of those near to you to be realized, and know that there is always a chance for redemption. There is no relationship that is ever broken; it is an illusion of separation. “But, Dr. Peebles,” you cry, “I could have been a better daughter! I could have been a better son! Oh why did I not call my friend when she had cancer? Why did I not telephone my uncle, and neglect him for twenty years? Oh woe is me.”
There are many reasons why. Your life got busy; you had other things to do. It’s all right that you made what you think to be mistakes in your journey. It’s all right that here and there you fell away from love. It’s all right that you put yourself first. It’s okay that you did not want to be troubled with that last trip to the hospital to see your mommy before she perished. It’s all right because they are all right, they are with you. Do not allow for your grief to hold them at arm’s length. Instead for a moment, if you close your eyes and breathe deeply into your spine, and you feel the sadness, you feel the grief, the pain of losing someone that you love very much; for a moment here, let’s take it back to when they were upon the earth, and oh how you loved them. Sometimes you didn’t even know how to express it. So much you would like to fix and repair. So much more love you would like to give to them, if only they were here. My dear friends, they are, right here, right now, with each and every one of you, and they love you so very much. All you have to do is to call upon those you love in spirit. Ask them to come close to you. Sit in reception of their love; allow for them to heal your hurting heart. “Do not grieve, my child. Do not grieve, my brother. Do not grieve, my wife. Do not grieve, my father. Do not grieve, my sister. Do not grieve, my dear cousin. Do not grieve. Do not grieve. I am here. Do not grieve. I love you. Let me hold you; let me rectify that which I feel I would like to rectify within our relationship. Give me a chance at peace and I will help you find peace in your heart. I love you.”
Allow for them to put their arms around you. Receive now that lost hug; that kiss that you wanted so desperately at the end.
For some of you, there are dearly departed loved ones who need your help. Aunt Carol who was bitter, angry, and without hope; she needs your help. She was scared at the end. She needs assistance. Sad, yes, how she perished, sad, yes, her circumstances upon the earth; but, sadder still that she has not yet moved on. You grieve her death, and you would like to have relationship there, and in your heart you know that she is not well. She needs your help to hear your voice. Speak gently to her, “I love you, Aunt Carol, no matter your circumstances in life, I know you are not able to move on, so therefore let me give you a helping hand.” Take her by the hand, walk her to the doorway of light, and tell her that you would like to have her over for supper on Wednesday. Can you, through your grief, help and assist the many rather than the few?
Grief is a form of anxiety; that there is nothing that you can do about death. But death is an illusion of separation. Feel your sadness and your love, but don’t be scared: there is no separation between and your dearly departed. Grieving is wonderful! It’s good for the soul; cry your heart out, share with God your anger. Grieving is the water, the tears that heal the wounds. Grieving is allowing for yourself to be immersed in that love, and that wishful prayer that forevermore you will be together, forevermore never ever separate. Grieving strengthens the heart, helps the circulation, clears the eyes, the ears, clears your consciousness. Grieving is an important part of the process here of understanding life after death. Grieve hard and strong and loud. Grieve from the toes to the tippy top of your head.
Grieving is action. Grief is unbearable pain. Grieving is clarity. Grieving awakens your heart, cries to the heavens, “I am hurting! I love you! I miss you! I want to grow from here! I water my circumstances with my tears, and through this I grow from this unbearable pain.” Grieving invites the dearly departed close. They love you very much; they whisper in your ears. Action, my dear friends, involvement, willingness to see that there is still life after death.
Do not allow for the death of one person in your life to kill you and others around you. Be resourceful when you are in pain. Find those around you who are still in the human flesh. Give life to them; acknowledge the presence that they have. When you have lost a husband, do not kill off your daughter and your friends. You are beautiful spirits, students of the divine. You are upon a school called Planet Earth, and it is filled with richness and discovery. When you are grieving, and bearing the unbearable weight of grief, throw a party. “I would like to celebrate the life of my mother. Would you all come over so that I can show pictures, talk about her, laugh, tell anecdotes. and would you share of your experiences with her? May we create a true memorial service where we cherish the memories of her, where we exalt her, raise her into the light together, thank her for all that she taught us in her journey upon the earth, where we can take turns in resolving our differences with her by joining hands together? We bring her into the circle and we say, ‘Hello, I love you, I apologize for kicking you under the table that day, but I was really angry, but I apologize. I didn’t mean to leave a bruise on your leg. Hello, I’m so sorry I missed your death; I wish I could have been there to give you a hug and a kiss. Perhaps we can do it now.’ ”
When you see life after death as reality here, you realize there is only a thin veil between you and the dearly departed. When the light of understanding comes in, the veil is lifted, separation disappears, there is action and motion and movement; love beyond your wildest dreams and imaginations. Invite the dearly departed to every party, and to every dinner occasion. Bring them close as family. It’s not weird or strange: it is a celebration of truth. “I invited my father tonight to attend this party.” There will be those who look at you askance and say, “You’re crazy!” and you say, “I’m not crazy. I just know that he’s with me anyway.”
You are beautiful spirits, students of the divine; we love you so very much. Cherish your life together upon Earth. It is intended to be a very temporary journey. It is just a short, if you will, excursion from heaven to a school called Planet Earth, where you explore and play and grow as the divine beings that you are into greater understanding of God. Cherish each other, my dear friends. Cherish each other. Call your mommy or your daddy. Let them drive you crazy. If they want to talk for a week, give them a chance. Create a rapturous existence with all of those that you know, and remember there is no separation; your true family is each and every student of the divine upon the Planet Earth. You are never alone. We are part of your family too. Your pets, they are with you.
Your love has no boundaries, no borders, no barriers. Love is without end: it is the alpha and the omega, the beginning and the end. It is circular, round and round it goes, and when you extend it to someone else it becomes a spiral. It weaves everybody together. Every wound can be healed through love.
You are beautiful spirits! We love you so very much! God bless you indeed, my dear friends, enjoy your family here and there, and do not grieve: simply believe.
And go your way in peace, love and harmony, for life is indeed a joy! And, all you have to do as you enjoy the journey to your own hearts, and certainly to your own enlightenment, is simply, my dear friends, lighten up just a little bit more!
God bless you indeed!
9/5/2013 03:37:38 am
May heart and love go out to Bev and for Sue crossing over. I know she is looking down at us or where she is and she is smiling.
9/5/2013 12:25:28 pm
Thank you Dr. Peebles and Summer for the most beautiful words I have ever read on the topic of grief and grieving. It is so healing to know how to continue to love them and expand their memory once they have gone across. Now I know how to think of the past in a new light.
9/7/2013 02:25:56 am
Thank you Dr. Peebles and Summer for this eloquent presentation of grief and grieving. My love and compassion to Bev, Sue and family and friends, I send from my heart.
9/8/2013 06:46:25 pm
This is wonderful!!! Deeply cleansing for me. I Appreciate the opportunity of Release and Acceptance. To to be less A fraid and so more Alive! Grateful to share with one another Here and ongoing as we journey along Awakening Expanding and Embracing our feeling side of life. Im making peace with grief today LIVE ON
Leave a Reply.